Shades of Gray

Now, I am not the one to write movie reviews on this site but just couldn’t help it this time. Watched Salaam-E-Ishq and was so moved that had to do this.

It is said that this movie is based on a hollywood flick, that is, Richard Curtis’s Love Actually. Its punchline goes “Six Couples, twelve different lives, one common problem – Love”. The problem with this Nikhil Advani directed movie is exactly this. It is not possible to do justice to six stories in three hours when you have lots of songs. But Mr. Advani will have none of this. So, he has made a movie that is three and a half hours long. But even then he fails to do justice to even one of the stories.

Let’s get to the couples now. Isha Koppikar and Sohail Khan play a newly wed ‘always in the mood’ haryanavi couple and Sohail’s body language seems more suited to a C-grade sex flick. Though it makes people laugh, it is not enough to make you remain seated for a long time. Love. No way. Lust Actually!!! John Abraham and Vidya Balan play their parts well and John shines as a loving husband whose wife has an accident and loses her memory as well as her make-up.

One person who would be angry with how his character has shaped up is Salman Khan. The audience never gets to understand whether he is a manager, waiter, or a thug who suddenly appears to help Priyanka Chopra realize her dream of acting in a Karan Johar film. Priyanka Chopra however gets to showcase her flair for comedy. In fact, Johar’s name is mentioned at least 10 times in those torturous three hours and in the end, Priyanka darling chooses Salman over her starry dreams. Love Actually, huh!!!

Govinda gets a lot of footage and does his role well, of a simple cabbie who dreams of settling down with a ‘videshi’ babe. The babe provides for some funny moments with her pronunciation of Hindi but that is all there is to it. Anil Kapoor plays a 40 year old father of two who is tired of his routine life and feels attracted to a pretty young girl, Anjali (played by Anjana Sukhani) who teaches bollywood dance. Wife Juhi chawla is obviously not amused with her hubby’s naughty-at-forty ways and that is all she is there for. Surprisingly, newcomer Anjana has more lines than Juhi. The background tune ‘What’s on your mind’ whenever Anil seems awestruck by Anjana’s beauty is at least music to the ears. Watching a clean-shaven Anil Kapoor in camouflage jackets and cargo pants breakdancing in a club is unfortunately not pleasing to the eyes.

Ayesha Takia, who plays Jia, has not much to do. The surprise package is Akshaye Khanna, who as a commitment-phobic young man does everything to effect a break up with Takia once his friend describes our hero as ‘Jia ka Piya’. It does make us laugh and we thank God for such sequences without which there is nothing to feel good about.

Salaam-E-Ishq is all mediocrity, nothing more. It could have been better with such a talented star cast but then again, it’s the screenplay and the direction or the lack of it that has buries this movie. Ask the public who has endured it. Even a one star rating would be generosity.

Is it wrong to dress up like Mahatma Gandhi? No, after all, thousands of children do so during fancy dress competitions in their schools. Is pole-dancing banned? No. Then why is a controversy being created if Bangalore-born and Brooklyn-based standup comedian Gautham Prasad did the two acts together?

Prasad, 29, has worked for the well-known US circus Ringling Brothers and now makes a living as a standup comedian besides teaching yoga. The Gandhi dance has been part of his repertoire for almost three years now. He says the Indian Government’s response is the first negative feedback he has ever received. Explaining the nature of his performance, he says, “I am not making fun of Mahatma Gandhi. I am making fun of a character who is dressed up as the Mahatma and does this dance. I am making fun of myself. Not many people are clowns, so they miss this distinction. If you look at my video you will see I am even wearing a clown’s red rubber nose.”

After this clarification, we should quietly bury this issue. After all, do we seriously believe that a clown can overshadow the real Mahatma or his teachings, or his philosophy? But the Indian Government has never been known for its sense of humour. It has sought a public apology from the News channels IBN7 and Sahara National for beaming the video clip, posted on the popular website youtube.com. It may also try to block youtube completely. The next thing it might do is to initiate a door to door search to find people who crack jokes on the Mahatma.

Considering that there are so many other serious issues for it to ponder over, shouldn’t the Government let the comedians handle the comic ones?

The media must be thanked for its role in getting justice for Jessica Lall and Priyadarshini Mattoo. But we Indians are never happy. So, out comes a theory that the media cared for these cases only because they were concerned with the economically powerful middle-class and guaranteed higher TRPs. The theory attempts to drive this point home by further arguing that if the TV channels are so committed to bringing justice to the common people, then why it isn’t highlighting the Khairlanji killings where a dalit family was humiliated before being brutally killed.

In my opinion, this is a shameless attempt by some equally shameless people to negate every good deed done by the media. TRPs may have driven the zeal media showed in pursuing the mockery of justice that the nation witnessed in the cases of Jessica and Priyadarshini but to blame it of bias towards the dalits is being unfair and unreasonable. I had rather say that the dalits have themselves to blame if the rest of the country has not joined them in asking for justice.

I say this not without reason. We all were ashamed when news first broke out on how a teenaged girl, Priyanka Bhotmangte was publicly humiliated, tortured and murdered in the OBC-dominated village of Khairlanji. Jessica’s friends and sister did not go around Delhi breaking windshields and pelting stones. Priyadarshini’s family did not burn trains and buses. But this is exactly what the dalits have done. By damaging public property and causing inconvenience to people who are not to be blamed for the shameful Khairlanji incident, the dalits have actually shot themselves in the foot. The Indian urban class stood up for Jessica, Mattoo and Nitish Katara because it saw them as helpless victims of the system, victims who did no harm to anyone but still faced atrocities at the hands of corrupt policemen and politicians.

It is here where the dalits have taken the wrong step. It is true that they have suffered for long but they cannot get the support of the general population by using arm-twisting tactics and violent protests and bandhs. The media understood that it will not get the public’s support until unless the protests were organized in a civil manner. Why would I volunteer to light candles for a mob that may use the same candles to torch my house? After all, I am neither God nor Gandhi.