Let me start by setting the context straight away. This post is a response to a post by Ms. Suchi Kumar on her blog which talks about non-focused nature of most conversations on any chat engine. To see this post, click here.
In her article, Ms. Kumar has highlighted three irritants:
The usage of ‘what else’ in chat?
The difference between friends and social acquaintances
The need to draw a line between good friends, friends and acquaintances
She has given the most importance to ‘what else’ and therefore, I would weave my story by outlining why ‘what else’ is important in today’s shrinking world.
It is said that, if a person is one step away from each person they know and two steps away from each person who is known by one of the people they know, then everyone is at most six steps away from any other person on Earth. This is commonly known as Six Degrees of Separation. This concept is at the heart of the social networks we use (Facebook, Orkut, MySpace, LinkedIn etc).
The main benefit of a social network comes from the loosely-knit ties that characterize it. Let me quote a few lines from wikipedia’s entry on social network –
“The shape of a social network helps determine a network’s usefulness to its individuals. Smaller, tighter networks can be less useful to their members than networks with lots of loose connections (weak ties) to individuals outside the main network. More open networks, with many weak ties and social connections, are more likely to introduce new ideas and opportunities to their members than closed networks with many redundant ties.”
Chat engines like Yahoo Messenger, MSN and Google Talk were developed to help people stay in touch with family and friends. As the social networking and collaboration concepts like Web 2.0 became buzzwords in our societies as well as professional set-up, the chat engines were integrated with social networking sites. In fact, Google perhaps was the first one to integrate orkut and Gmail contact lists. This has resulted in your social networking contacts appearing in your chat engine’s friends list. As a result, as of today, online chat has become a form or medium of social networking.
Therefore, when someone pings Ms. Kumar, this is no more a simple chat as it used to be in 2000-01. It is social networking and since it is based on loose connections, most of those doing the pinging may turn out to be mere acquaintances. And by design, these people don’t know much about you and hence ‘what else?’ is the best conversation starter.
I will quickly now address the second and third points raised by Ms. Kumar. We know each other for around 10 months now. How on earth would I know whether she considers me a social acquaintance or a friend? Like one-sided love, one-sided friendship is more common than we think. The whole idea of drawing a line between different kinds of ‘friends and contacts’ is flawed. I may pour my heart out to an acquaintance when I am emotionally broken but when I have recovered, I start thinking about propriety and limits. This is a self-serving thought which can be used as an excuse to accuse others of crossing the limit time and time again. And most importantly, it is not practical as the person on the other side of the chat engine would never know if he has reached the line that marks your area in the jungle. Unless of course, the intrusion is into somebody’s personal life.
So, if you’re busy and cannot talk, please don’t leave the status green. Better still, log off and come online only when you can manage a chat. Don’t confuse others by flaunting the green signal. Filter out acquaintances from your chat list if you don’t like them pinging you. And don’t think somebody pinged you because they didn’t know what to do with their spare time. They might actually unwind seeing you act pricey.
In 2007, Microsoft paid a $240 million price for a 1.6 percent stake in Facebook valuing the start-up at $15 billions. Bebo and LinkedIn are worth $850 million and $1 billion respectively, based on relatively recent valuations whereas the last valuation of MySpace was $580 million, back in 2005 when it was acquired by News Corp. Let us not forget this value has been created by users who have flocked to these sites; Users who are friends to some and social acquaintances to most members on these sites. And they network using an irritating phrase that reads – what else?
Let me start by setting the context straight away. This article is a response to a post by my friend Ms. Suchi Kumar on her blog which has left me wondering if I am her friend or a social acquaintance. But let’s leave that for some other day.
In her post (To see this post, click here), Ms. Kumar has censured the non-focused nature of most online chat conversations and highlighted three irritants/issues:
- The usage of ‘what else’ in chat
- The difference between friends and social acquaintances
- The need to draw a line between good friends, friends and acquaintances
She has given the most importance to ‘what else’ and therefore, I would weave my story by outlining why ‘what else’ is important in today’s shrinking world.
It is said that, if a person is one step away from each person they know and two steps away from each person who is known by one of the people they know, then everyone is at most six steps away from any other person on Earth. This is commonly known as Six Degrees of Separation. This concept is at the heart of the social networks we use (Facebook, Orkut, MySpace, LinkedIn etc).
The main benefit of a social network comes from the loosely-knit ties that characterize it. Let me quote a few lines from wikipedia’s entry on social network –
The shape of a social network helps determine a network’s usefulness to its individuals. Smaller, tighter networks can be less useful to their members than networks with lots of loose connections (weak ties) to individuals outside the main network. More open networks, with many weak ties and social connections, are more likely to introduce new ideas and opportunities to their members than closed networks with many redundant ties.
Chat engines like Yahoo Messenger, MSN and Google Talk were developed to help people stay in touch with family and friends. As the social networking and collaboration concepts like Web 2.0 became buzzwords in our societies as well as professional set-up, the chat engines were integrated with social networking sites. In fact, Google perhaps was the first one to integrate orkut and Gmail contact lists. This has resulted in your social networking contacts appearing in your chat engine’s friends list. As a result, as of today, online chat has become a form or medium of social networking.
Therefore, when someone pings Ms. Kumar, this is no more a simple chat as it used to be in 2000-01. It is social networking and since it is based on loose connections, most of those doing the pinging may turn out to be mere acquaintances. And by design, these people don’t know much about you and hence ‘what else?’ is the best conversation starter.
I will quickly now address the second and third points raised by Ms. Kumar. We know each other for around 10 months now. How on earth would I know whether she considers me a social acquaintance or a friend? Like one-sided love, one-sided friendship is more common than we think. The whole idea of drawing a line between different kinds of ‘friends and contacts’ is flawed. I may pour my heart out to an acquaintance when I am emotionally broken but when I have recovered, I start thinking about propriety and limits. This is a self-serving thought which can be used as an excuse to accuse others of crossing the limit time and time again. And most importantly, it is not practical as the person on the other side of the chat engine would never know if he has reached the line that marks your area in the jungle. Unless of course, the intrusion is into somebody’s personal life.
So, if you’re busy and cannot talk, please don’t leave the status green. Better still, log off and come online only when you can manage a chat. Don’t confuse others by flaunting the green signal. Filter out acquaintances from your chat list if you don’t like them pinging you. And don’t think somebody pinged you because they didn’t know what to do with their spare time. They might actually unwind seeing you act pricey.
In 2007, Microsoft paid a $240 million price for a 1.6 percent stake in Facebook valuing the start-up at $15 billions. Bebo and LinkedIn are worth $850 million and $1 billion respectively, based on relatively recent valuations whereas the last valuation of MySpace was $580 million, back in 2005 when it was acquired by News Corp. Let us not forget this value has been created by users who have flocked to these sites; users who are friends to some and social acquaintances to most members on these sites. And they network using an irritating phrase that reads – what else?